


Complicated

by vexedcer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Coming Out, Episode 11.19 The Chitters, Kinda, M/M, Missing Scene, dean kinda talks about his feelings a little, ngl i really love cesar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 21:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7123606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexedcer/pseuds/vexedcer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Have you got anyone who sticks around?”</p><p>Dean feels his hands clench a little on the wheel. “It’s, ah - it’s really fucking complicated.” He doesn't want to think about Cas - Lucifer standing there in the warding, wearing Cas like a prom dress.</p><p>(Or; an extension of the scene where Cesar and Dean are in the car.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot believe that spn, of all the stories i consume, is the thing that is making me write again. ive had a long flash fic in the works since february and yet!! here i am!!
> 
> anyways. i love the gays on spn. especially when they're not dead.
> 
> also this fic was called "the chatters" while it was wip. its from the ep the chitters, and they have a chat, geddit? geddit? ill shut up now.

It feels good to be rolling over asphalt right about now.

Cesar is a pleasant driving companion; he doesn’t try and backseat drive, he doesn’t make forced small talk above asking about the car some. From the questions, Dean can tell he has a little bit of knowledge, but isn’t the mechanic Dean is.

It’s nice to talk about something that isn’t monsters and isn’t the end of the world and isn’t Cas or Lucifer or Amara, for a change. Just cars.

“How long do we have until these things are gone?” Dean asks, getting back to business. He keeps his eyes on the road.

“We gotta find the burrow tonight,” he says. “By tomorrow, they’ll be settled beneath the ground, dying.” Cesar looks from Dean to the windshield to the passenger window as he speaks. He looks back to Dean as he shakes his head, “We won’t be able to find them _or_ their eggs. And Jesse will wait another twenty seven years.” He sounds the slightest exasperated.

Dean glances at him from across the bench seat, but Cesar has finally settled his eyes and is staring out the window. “Well, there’s four of us now. We’ll smoke those sons-of-bitches.”

“Yeah,” Cesar agrees. “It’ll eat him alive if we don’t.”

“It’s hard to watch someone go through that, isn’t it?” Dean keeps staring out into the road, even though the road is clear and he could relax if he wanted to.

Cesar chuckles, agreeing. “I never had a brother, or a sister. But I’ve seen it over and over - when someone lose someone, when they’re young - it never heals over.”

Dean resolutely doesn’t think of losing Mom, in the fire, and losing Dad in bits and pieces afterwards. Doesn’t think of the oppressively silent nights when Dad was plastered enough to black-out, and Sammy was gone to live a new life at Stanford. He doesn’t think of Bobby, or Kevin, or Charlie, or any of the people who’ve died or left him.

It doesn’t matter is he’s not young anymore - he’s thirty seven now, and sometimes his back aches.

It still doesn’t really heal.

“And the insane thing is,” Cesar continues saying, not privy to Dean’s internal non-monologue, “How many hunters, over the years, have you seen get their revenge?”

Dean inclines his head, almost shrugging, “A few?”

“Me too. And they are never fixed,” he says slowly. He breaths an almost silent, humourless laugh. “Are they?”

Dean thinks of his father. “No, I guess not.” He pauses. “But you gotta help them get that revenge anyway.”

The silence stretches out between the two men as they fly over the road, bracketed on both sides by trees and greenery.

“So how did you and Jesse meet?” It is honest curiosity that makes him ask. “I mean, you said you guys mainly hunt in Mexico; that’s some distance from Colorado.”

Cesar chuckles; it’s the most honest laugh he’s heard from the hunter in the hours they’ve known each other. “It was by chance really; I was hunting a chupacabra not far from the border, when I found it attacking Jesse. We took care of it together, then he bought me a couple of drinks to say thank you. One thing lead to another and here we are, seven years later.”

Dean glances away from the road for a second to look at Cesar. He already seems more relaxed, talking about Jesse.

“Have you got anyone who sticks around?”

Dean feels his hands clench a little on the wheel. “It’s, ah - it’s really fucking complicated.” He doesn't want to think about Cas - Lucifer standing there in the warding, wearing Cas like a prom dress.

Dean doesn’t really talk to anyone about this; doesn’t talk about it to Sam, his brother, whose seen him broken and bleeding, vomiting and crying, and dead. Or Bobby, the man who was more of a father to him than John Winchester ever managed. Not to Charlie, who had probably been his best option. That girl took almost everything in her stride after the whole _“_ _monster’s are real!_ _”_ thing had sunk in enough.  

He thinks now, they probably all knew.

“See, I think if they - if he,” he stutters over, ignoring the feeling of Cesar’s eyes on his face, “If he hung around long enough, we’d have a chance at something good, but - ” Dean shrugs, fingers white knuckling the steering wheel now. “ - I don’t know. He’s gone now.”

“Do you know where he is?” Cesar asks, and ain’t that just the question they’ve been trying to answer for the last month?

“In someone else,” Dean says, and he’s technically wrong, because Lucifer is in Cas (ain’t that just an image?), and he feels safe in the crudeness of the statement because he’s already said too much to a man he doesn’t even know.

Cesar is quiet for a moment. “Does Sam know?”

“It’s been six years; if he hadn’t noticed, I’d say he’s a shit hunter.” Dean keeps his eyes on the road, scanning the treeline more carefully for their turn in point. The darkness has changed the landscape a little.

“I hope you can figure it out, Dean,” Cesar says. The clearing where he left his baby the last time seems to come upon them suddenly. They get out of the car and haul ass into the woods.

They have work to do.

 


End file.
